Hog With A Breth
by wickiiii
Summary: Harry learns "a thing or two" from his professors.


"I love to have sex with my human wife."said Hagrid. "ooh i jusg want you to CRAWL inSIDE me and wriggel eround in there"! the thinking of that….it is…arousing. Harry stared discusted but turned on at hagrid. "How does sex work" Harry aske curiusly, "When a mommy and a mommy and a mommy and a muppet want to do it; they take down their big drawers and they…;) winky." Hagrid stroke his beerd. "Oh." Say Harry. "Like this?" He took down his handmedown drawer (BIG from dudley)"Whoa!" say Hagrid, concern because of his skinney fraem. "you aint got no meat on them bone!s. It ust fell right off when you …unguckled." Hqarry smerked. "Yeah." He squatted. "I just do these, every day before i eat my sand birthday cakie." Hagrid say: "Like this?" He squatted and RIPPED the shorts big HOLE REVEALING ;)…;) Harry sayd woa…Your caverns .. THEY musk me. They smell like MAN…""ooph CAVERNS MMMMMPH then …. Hagrid shake it. "Let me smell you UP CLOSE." Harry demand sweatily. Put one hand, then one hand on agrid! Maybe if i just lean in real closelike….SWOOMP! "Uh oh!" says Hagrid. Cum SHOOT OUT LIKE A FIREHOSE. HARRY IS IMPALED BY THE JET BLAST. Snape shimmy down into the fire burning. He like it whe. Thgen snape CRAWL OVER. "Whr happened here?" he arched an eyebroh. Oooo i better to a potion he flex. "Why don't you come over here" harry says in two pieces on the living room carpet. Snape see harry is….into pieces on the living room carpet. Snape say. "But, you're a student."n Harry say: "I Quit school if I cabnot have your beef between my ripe pieces." "OOOjh No"! snape exlciam. "You've done it now! Detention ;)! On either side of my beef that is." "Ooooo thank Chrysler," Harry wiggled his you know. Snape say BOING!BIG! Hagrid wakes up from his post-coital sulmber. "HARRY WHATS GOING ON THERE ?" Harry saud: You blasted me with your bits! Severus was just helping out a little! He said saucily. Snape says, "Whoa whoa whoa….I thought he was dead. I don't know if i can share!"! Harry slithers over to snape and LICK THE BOINGO. He just licks the darn thing! Snape snake dick wiggle. Hagrid say, I've got blind from the beauty. This is noi reparable . I will never se again. POPPY says Snape. Pimfrey appear and take off Hagrid cloths to EXAMINE. She says Harry ill be right with you. Harry says i think ill be alright and tocuhes snake. They do tango! You know im a praselmouth he whisper in snape slick ear. "Poppy knows best"she hands them a goo…some kidn of GOO….ooooo….where do i piut thes? Harry asked, Pomfrey says: Right Up ON…YOU Kjnow. Snape jiggles: "I'll take care of this!" and He splat in on his handy and right onto harrys member. NoOOOO harry gasp. CHILLY! It's a cold glop! Poppy says, Most of our patients just like it that way. Some like it…fresh from the freezer,. Harry wiuggled his ripe bodey plump suddwnly he is no longefr thin. SNAPE GOT HIM PREGNANT! We will name him James Earl Jones Potter after my father…and my mother…and the best man I ever knew. We'll tattoo Snape on his doingy I can tell it's a boy….Mother's intution! You know! ;) Snape says, "cqant wait to get it out of there! Harry SCREAM IN LABOR. Juice squirting. He does a squat! Snape has his meat hands all over him until he give SUCCULENT BIRTH. Then pomfrey says: Pip pip cheerio time for your exercises young wizard boy." Harry ays no thanks…I got my wand for that…..;) Wonkhy. Snape says I got MY wand for THAT wonky….then he just puts that thing right in there! Harry says No i just did that though! THEY DON'T NOTICE THERE BABY WIGGLING BECAUSE THEYRE TOO BUSY ! WACHING QIDDISH! Snake snakes an arm around harrys bony shoulder and reaches into his pockit and pulls of a hersheys kissa nd then puts in harrys mouth. Harry motuh: "WHAat a tantalizing tit." Mmmm. He whsipers: Tit. Again. Susdddnlt …. Kwirl bouynces his stubbly little legs into the hagrid hut. "Heyy doddont mamake ffun of me beasuem—my ppepg legs. P-p-poter. Im a pirate and i lost them in the war for queen and country. Anyway, I'm Kwirl and I'm a god damn furry." He says spicily. Harrys ays: Here at the Potter household, we accommodate any kind of special requestgs. Is there anything you want to sluice" as harry stands he Squelch from the heavy fluids."That's just like a gymnast could do!" says kiwrl. "you little stinker."

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?SEE YOU NEXT-TIME.


End file.
